Happy Mother’s Day to my mama bear, Tracy, and all the Mama Bears out there who are changing the lives of their queer biological children as well as the lives of the queer kids they take in as their own. Tracy has been my mama bear for a little over a year and I am so blessed to have her in my life.

A common objection to the validity and holiness of LGBTQ+ folks living and being in relationship with one another is that the Creation story makes it obvious that “those kinds” of relationships or lifestyles are unnatural.

You raised me to crave your approval.

Other than God’s approval, yours was the most important thing I could have. I know you just wanted the best for me; at least, the best that I could have as a woman. There was always a subtle conflict between the church message that women should be submissive wives and mothers and what you told me - that I could do anything. That I was intelligent and capable. That I was strong. There was always a subtle conflict between those messages you tried to instill in me and the reality of how you treated me — as weak for having emotions. As your property to give away to my future husband for having a vagina.

“The story of the prodigal son comes to my mind. It is the only way I will be able to deal with this. I’ll wait for you with open arms when you come back home… until then, I’ll pray for you to have your eyes opened by the only true God that you have put on the back burner…“

These words, sent to me by my father, may seem innocuous. Maybe they even seem loving or kind. But make no mistake — these words, and the others that accompanied them, are manipulative, abusive, and deeply hurtful.

What prompted this message? I came out as bisexual.

*** CAPTAIN MARVEL SPOILERS ***

I’m not much of a superhero person; in fact, I’m not much of a movie person in general. This week, however, I watched Captain Marvel and found myself moved to tears.

Carol’s journey resonates deeply in my body because our paths have been all too similar.

Image Credit Marvel Studios

Bi+ erasure and invisibility often make me feel like my bisexuality doesn’t actually exist unless I’m walking around holding hands with my obviously cis male partner and kissing an obviously cis woman at the same time while wearing a shirt that says “I’M BISEXUAL!” in all caps.